english fairy talescollected by joseph jacobs chapter 32: the strange visitor a woman was sitting at her reel one night;and still she sat, and still she reeled, and still she wished for company.in came a pair of broad broad soles, and sat down at the fireside; and still she sat, and still she reeled,and still she wished for company. in came a pair of small small legs, and satdown on the broad broad soles; in came a pair of thick thick knees, andsat down on the small small legs; in came a pair of thin thin thighs, and satdown on the thick thick knees;
in came a pair of huge huge hips, and satdown on the thin thin thighs; in came a wee wee waist, and sat down onthe huge huge hips; in came a pair of broad broad shoulders,and sat down on the wee wee waist; in came a pair of small small arms, and satdown on the broad broad shoulders; in came a pair of huge huge hands, and satdown on the small small arms; in came a small small neck, and sat down onthe broad broad shoulders; in came a huge huge head, and sat down onthe small small neck. "how did you get such broad broad feet?"quoth the woman. "much tramping, much tramping" (gruffly)."how did you get such small small legs?"
"aih-h-h!-late--and wee-e-e--moul"(whiningly). "how did you get such thick thick knees?""much praying, much praying" (piously). "how did you get such thin thin thighs?" "aih-h-h!--late--and wee-e-e--moul"(whiningly). "how did you get such big big hips?""much sitting, much sitting" (gruffly). "how did you get such a wee wee waist?" "aih-h-h!--late--and wee-e-e-moul"(whiningly). "how did you get such broad broadshoulders?" "with carrying broom, with carrying broom"(gruffly).
"how did you get such small small arms?""aih-h-h!--late--and wee-e-e--moul" (whiningly.) "how did you get such huge huge hands?""threshing with an iron flail, threshing with an iron flail" (gruffly)."how did you get such a small small neck?" "aih-h-h!--late--wee-e-e--moul"(pitifully). "how did you get such a huge huge head?""much knowledge, much knowledge" (keenly). "what do you come for?" "for you!"(at the top of the voice, with a wave of the arm and a stamp of the feet.)
> chapter 33: the laidly worm of spindleston heugh in bamborough castle once lived a king whohad a fair wife and two children, a son named childe wynd and a daughter namedmargaret. childe wynd went forth to seek his fortune,and soon after he had gone the queen his mother died. the king mourned her long and faithfully,but one day while he was hunting he came across a lady of great beauty, and becameso much in love with her that he determined to marry her.
so he sent word home that he was going tobring a new queen to bamborough castle. princess margaret was not very glad to hearof her mother's place being taken, but she did not repine but did her father'sbidding. and at the appointed day came down to thecastle gate with the keys all ready to hand over to her stepmother. soon the procession drew near, and the newqueen came towards princess margaret who bowed low and handed her the keys of thecastle. she stood there with blushing cheeks andeye on ground, and said: "o welcome, father dear, to your halls and bowers, and welcometo you my new mother, for all that's here
is yours," and again she offered the keys. one of the king's knights who had escortedthe new queen, cried out in admiration: "surely this northern princess is theloveliest of her kind." at that the new queen flushed up and criedout: "at least your courtesy might have excepted me," and then she muttered belowher breath: "i'll soon put an end to her beauty." that same night the queen, who was a notedwitch, stole down to a lonely dungeon wherein she did her magic and with spellsthree times three, and with passes nine times nine she cast princess margaret underher spell.
and this was her spell: i weird ye to be a laidly worm,and borrowed shall ye never be, until childe wynd, the king's own soncome to the heugh and thrice kiss thee; until the world comes to an end,borrowed shall ye never be. so lady margaret went to bed a beauteousmaiden, and rose up a laidly worm. and when her maidens came in to dress herin the morning they found coiled up on the bed a dreadful dragon, which uncoileditself and came towards them. but they ran away shrieking, and the laidlyworm crawled and crept, and crept and crawled till it reached the heugh or rockof the spindlestone, round which it coiled
itself, and lay there basking with itsterrible snout in the air. soon the country round about had reason toknow of the laidly worm of spindleston heugh. for hunger drove the monster out from itscave and it used to devour everything it could come across.so at last they went to a mighty warlock and asked him what they should do. then he consulted his works and hisfamiliar, and told them: "the laidly worm is really the princess margaret and it ishunger that drives her forth to do such deeds.
put aside for her seven kine, and each dayas the sun goes down, carry every drop of milk they yield to the stone trough at thefoot of the heugh, and the laidly worm will trouble the country no longer. but if ye would that she be borrowed to hernatural shape, and that she who bespelled her be rightly punished, send over the seasfor her brother, childe wynd." all was done as the warlock advised, thelaidly worm lived on the milk of the seven kine, and the country was troubled nolonger. but when childe wynd heard the news, heswore a mighty oath to rescue his sister and revenge her on her cruel stepmother.and three-and-thirty of his men took the
oath with him. then they set to work and built a longship, and its keel they made of the rowan tree.and when all was ready, they out with their oars and pulled sheer for bamborough keep. but as they got near the keep, thestepmother felt by her magic power that something was being wrought against her, soshe summoned her familiar imps and said: "childe wynd is coming over the seas; hemust never land. raise storms, or bore the hull, but nohowmust he touch shore." then the imps went forth to meet childewynd's ship, but when they got near, they
found they had no power over the ship, forits keel was made of the rowan tree. so back they came to the queen witch, whoknew not what to do. she ordered her men-at-arms to resistchilde wynd if he should land near them, and by her spells she caused the laidlyworm to wait by the entrance of the harbour. as the ship came near, the worm unfoldedits coils, and dipping into the sea, caught hold of the ship of childe wynd, and bangedit off the shore. three times childe wynd urged his men on torow bravely and strong, but each time the laidly worm kept it off the shore.
then childe wynd ordered the ship to be putabout, and the witch-queen thought he had given up the attempt. but instead of that, he only rounded thenext point and landed safe and sound in budle creek, and then, with sword drawn andbow bent, rushed up followed by his men, to fight the terrible worm that had kept himfrom landing. but the moment childe wynd had landed, thewitch-queen's power over the laidly worm had gone, and she went back to her bowerall alone, not an imp, nor a man-at-arms to help her, for she knew her hour was come. so when childe wynd came rushing up to thelaidly worm it made no attempt to stop him
or hurt him, but just as he was going toraise his sword to slay it, the voice of his own sister margaret came from its jawssaying: "o, quit your sword, unbend your bow,and give me kisses three; for though i am a poisonous worm,no harm i'll do to thee." childe wynd stayed his hand, but he did notknow what to think if some witchery were not in it.then said the laidly worm again: "o, quit your sword, unbend your bow,and give me kisses three, if i'm not won ere set of sun,won never shall i be." then childe wynd went up to the laidly wormand kissed it once; but no change came over
it.then childe wynd kissed it once more; but yet no change came over it. for a third time he kissed the loathsomething, and with a hiss and a roar the laidly worm reared back and before childewynd stood his sister margaret. he wrapped his cloak about her, and thenwent up to the castle with her. when he reached the keep, he went off tothe witch queen's bower, and when he saw her, he touched her with a twig of a rowantree. no sooner had he touched her than sheshrivelled up and shrivelled up, till she became a huge ugly toad, with bold staringeyes and a horrible hiss.
she croaked and she hissed, and then hoppedaway down the castle steps, and childe wynd took his father's place as king, and theyall lived happy afterwards. but to this day, the loathsome toad is seenat times, haunting the neighbourhood of bamborough keep, and the wicked witch-queenis a laidly toad. chapter 34: the cat and the mouse the cat and the mouseplay'd in the malt-house: the cat bit the mouse's tail off."pray, puss, give me my tail." "no," says the cat, "i'll not give you yourtail, till you go to the cow, and fetch me some milk."
first she leapt and then she ran,till she came to the cow, and thus began: "pray, cow, give me milk, that i may givecat milk, that cat may give me my own tail again." "no," said the cow, "i will give you nomilk, till you go to the farmer, and get me some hay." first she leapt, and then she ran,till she came to the farmer and thus began: "pray, farmer, give me hay, that i may givecow hay, that cow may give me milk, that i may give cat milk, that cat may give me myown tail again."
"no," says the farmer, "i'll give you nohay, till you go to the butcher and fetch me some meat." first she leapt, and then she ran,till she came to the butcher, and thus "pray, butcher, give me meat, that i maygive farmer meat, that farmer may give me hay, that i may give cow hay, that cow maygive me milk, that i may give cat milk, that cat may give me my own tail again." "no," says the butcher, "i'll give you nomeat, till you go to the baker and fetch me some bread." first she leapt and then she ran,till she came to the baker, and thus began:
"pray, baker, give me bread, that i maygive butcher bread, that butcher may give me meat, that i may give farmer meat, thatfarmer may give me hay, that i may give cow hay, that cow may give me milk, that i may give cat milk, that cat may give me my owntail again." "yes," says the baker,"i'll give you some bread, but if you eat my meal,i'll cut off your head." then the baker gave mouse bread, and mousegave butcher bread, and butcher gave mouse meat, and mouse gave farmer meat, andfarmer gave mouse hay, and mouse gave cow hay, and cow gave mouse milk, and mouse
gave cat milk, and cat gave mouse her owntail again! chapter 35: the fish and the ring once upon a time, there was a mighty baronin the north countrie who was a great magician that knew everything that wouldcome to pass. so one day, when his little boy was fouryears old, he looked into the book of fate to see what would happen to him. and to his dismay, he found that his sonwould wed a lowly maid that had just been born in a house under the shadow of yorkminster. now the baron knew the father of the littlegirl was very, very poor, and he had five
children already. so he called for his horse, and rode intoyork; and passed by the father's house, and saw him sitting by the door, sad anddoleful. so he dismounted and went up to him andsaid: "what is the matter, my good man?" and the man said: "well, your honour, thefact is, i've five children already, and now a sixth's come, a little lass, andwhere to get the bread from to fill their mouths, that's more than i can say." "don't be downhearted, my man," said thebaron. "if that's your trouble, i can help you.i'll take away the last little one, and you
wont have to bother about her." "thank you kindly, sir," said the man; andhe went in and brought out the lass and gave her to the baron, who mounted hishorse and rode away with her. and when he got by the bank of the riverouse, he threw the little, thing into the river, and rode off to his castle. but the little lass didn't sink; herclothes kept her up for a time, and she floated, and she floated, till she was castashore just in front of a fisherman's hut. there the fisherman found her, and tookpity on the poor little thing and took her into his house, and she lived there tillshe was fifteen years old, and a fine
handsome girl. one day it happened that the baron went outhunting with some companions along the banks of the river ouse, and stopped at thefisherman's hut to get a drink, and the girl came out to give it to them. they all noticed her beauty, and one ofthem said to the baron: "you can read fates, baron, whom will she marry, d'yethink?" "oh! that's easy to guess," said the baron;"some yokel or other. but i'll cast her horoscope.come here girl, and tell me on what day you were born?"
"i don't know, sir," said the girl, "i waspicked up just here after having been brought down by the river about fifteenyears ago." then the baron knew who she was, and whenthey went away, he rode back and said to the girl: "hark ye, girl, i will make yourfortune. take this letter to my brother inscarborough, and you will be settled for life."and the girl took the letter and said she would go. now this was what he had written in theletter: "dear brother,--take the bearer and put herto death immediately.
"yours affectionately, "albert."so soon after the girl set out for scarborough, and slept for the night at alittle inn. now that very night a band of robbers brokeinto the inn, and searched the girl, who had no money, and only the letter.so they opened this and read it, and thought it a shame. the captain of the robbers took a pen andpaper and wrote this letter: "dear brother,--take the bearer and marryher to my son immediately. "albert."and then he gave it to the girl, bidding
her begone. so she went on to the baron's brother atscarborough, a noble knight, with whom the baron's son was staying. when she gave the letter to his brother, hegave orders for the wedding to be prepared at once, and they were married that veryday. soon after, the baron himself came to hisbrother's castle, and what was his surprise to find that the very thing he had plottedagainst had come to pass. but he was not to be put off that way; andhe took out the girl for a walk, as he said, along the cliffs.
and when he got her all alone, he took herby the arms, and was going to throw her over.but she begged hard for her life. "i have not done anything," she said: "ifyou will only spare me, i will do whatever you wish.i will never see you or your son again till you desire it." then the baron took off his gold ring andthrew it into the sea, saying: "never let me see your face till you can show me thatring;" and he let her go. the poor girl wandered on and on, till atlast she came to a great noble's castle, and she asked to have some work given toher; and they made her the scullion girl of
the castle, for she had been used to suchwork in the fisherman's hut. now one day, who should she see coming upto the noble's house but the baron and his brother and his son, her husband. she didn't know what to do; but thoughtthey would not see her in the castle kitchen. so she went back to her work with a sigh,and set to cleaning a huge big fish that was to be boiled for their dinner. and, as she was cleaning it, she sawsomething shine inside it, and what do you think she found?
why, there was the baron's ring, the veryone he had thrown over the cliff at scarborough.she was right glad to see it, you may be sure. then she cooked the fish as nicely as shecould, and served it up. well, when the fish came on the table, theguests liked it so well that they asked the noble who cooked it. he said he didn't know, but called to hisservants: "ho, there, send up the cook that cooked that fine fish."so they went down to the kitchen and told the girl she was wanted in the hall.
then she washed and tidied herself and putthe baron's gold ring on her thumb and went up into the hall.when the banqueters saw such a young and beautiful cook they were surprised. but the baron was in a tower of a temper,and started up as if he would do her some violence. so the girl went up to him with her handbefore her with the ring on it; and she put it down before him on the table. then at last the baron saw that no onecould fight against fate, and he handed her to a seat and announced to all the companythat this was his son's true wife; and he
took her and his son home to his castle; and they all lived as happy as could beever afterwards. chapter 36: the magpie's nest once upon a time when pigs spoke rhymeand monkeys chewed tobacco, and hens took snuff to make them tough,and ducks went quack, quack, quack, o! all the birds of the air came to the magpieand asked her to teach them how to build nests.for the magpie is the cleverest bird of all at building nests. so she put all the birds round her andbegan to show them how to do it.
first of all she took some mud and made asort of round cake with it. "oh, that's how it's done," said thethrush; and away it flew, and so that's how thrushes build their nests.then the magpie took some twigs and arranged them round in the mud. "now i know all about it," says theblackbird, and off he flew; and that's how the blackbirds make their nests to thisvery day. then the magpie put another layer of mudover the twigs. "oh that's quite obvious," said the wiseowl, and away it flew; and owls have never made better nests since.
after this the magpie took some twigs andtwined them round the outside. "the very thing!" said the sparrow, and offbe went; so sparrows make rather slovenly nests to this day. well, then madge magpie took some feathersand stuff and lined the nest very comfortably with it. "that suits me," cried the starling, andoff it flew; and very comfortable nests have starlings. so it went on, every bird taking away someknowledge of how to build nests, but, none of them waiting to the end.
meanwhile madge magpie went on working andworking without, looking up till the only bird that remained was the turtle-dove, andthat hadn't paid any attention all along, but only kept on saying its silly cry "taketwo, taffy, take two-o-o-o." at last the magpie heard this just as shewas putting a twig across. so she said: "one's enough." but the turtle-dove kept on saying: "taketwo, taffy, take two-o-o-o." then the magpie got angry and said: "one'senough i tell you." still the turtle-dove cried: "take two,taffy, take two-o-o-o." at last, and at last, the magpie looked upand saw nobody near her but the silly
turtle-dove, and then she got rare angryand flew away and refused to tell the birds how to build nests again. and that is why different birds build theirnests differently. chapter 37: kate crackernuts once upon a time there was a king and aqueen, as in many lands have been. the king had a daughter, anne, and thequeen had one named kate, but anne was far bonnier than the queen's daughter, thoughthey loved one another like real sisters. the queen was jealous of the king'sdaughter being bonnier than her own, and cast about to spoil her beauty.
so she took counsel of the henwife, whotold her to send the lassie to her next morning fasting. so next morning early, the queen said toanne, "go, my dear, to the henwife in the glen, and ask her for some eggs." so anne set out, but as she passed throughthe kitchen she saw a crust, and she took and munched it as she went along. when she came to the henwife's she askedfor eggs, as she had been told to do; the henwife said to her, "lift the lid off thatpot there and see." the lassie did so, but nothing happened.
"go home to your minnie and tell her tokeep her larder door better locked," said the henwife.so she went home to the queen and told her what the henwife had said. the queen knew from this that the lassiehad had something to eat, so watched the next morning and sent her away fasting; butthe princess saw some country-folk picking peas by the roadside, and being very kind she spoke to them and took a handful of thepeas, which she ate by the way. when she came to the henwife's, she said,"lift the lid off the pot and you'll see." so anne lifted the lid but nothinghappened.
then the henwife was rare angry and said toanne, "tell your minnie the pot won't boil if the fire's away." so anne went home and told the queen.the third day the queen goes along with the girl herself to the henwife. now, this time, when anne lifted the lidoff the pot, off falls her own pretty head, and on jumps a sheep's head.so the queen was now quite satisfied, and went back home. her own daughter, kate, however, took afine linen cloth and wrapped it round her sister's head and took her by the hand andthey both went out to seek their fortune.
they went on, and they went on, and theywent on, till they came to a castle. kate knocked at the door and asked for anight's lodging for herself and a sick sister. they went in and found it was a king'scastle, who had two sons, and one of them was sickening away to death and no onecould find out what ailed him. and the curious thing was that whoeverwatched him at night was never seen any more.so the king had offered a peck of silver to anyone who would stop up with him. now katie was a very brave girl, so sheoffered to sit up with him.
till midnight all goes well. as twelve o clock rings, however, the sickprince rises, dresses himself, and slips downstairs.kate followed, but he didn't seem to notice her. the prince went to the stable, saddled hishorse, called his hound, jumped into the saddle, and kate leapt lightly up behindhim. away rode the prince and kate through thegreenwood, kate, as they pass, plucking nuts from the trees and filling her apronwith them. they rode on and on till they came to agreen hill.
the prince here drew bridle and spoke,"open, open, green hill, and let the young prince in with his horse and his hound,"and kate added, "and his lady him behind." immediately the green hill opened and theypassed in. the prince entered a magnificent hall,brightly lighted up, and many beautiful fairies surrounded the prince and led himoff to the dance. meanwhile, kate, without being noticed, hidherself behind the door. there she sees the prince dancing, anddancing, and dancing, till he could dance no longer and fell upon a couch. then the fairies would fan him till hecould rise again and go on dancing.
at last the cock crew, and the prince madeall haste to get on horseback; kate jumped up behind, and home they rode. when the morning sun rose they came in andfound kate sitting down by the fire and cracking her nuts. kate said the prince had a good night; butshe would not sit up another night unless she was to get a peck of gold.the second night passed as the first had done. the prince got up at midnight and rode awayto the green hill and the fairy ball, and kate went with him, gathering nuts as theyrode through the forest.
this time she did not watch the prince, forshe knew he would dance and dance, and dance. but she sees a fairy baby playing with awand, and overhears one of the fairies say: "three strokes of that wand would makekate's sick sister as bonnie as ever she was." so kate rolled nuts to the fairy baby, androlled nuts till the baby toddled after the nuts and let fall the wand, and kate tookit up and put it in her apron. and at cockcrow they rode home as before,and the moment kate got home to her room she rushed and touched anne three timeswith the wand, and the nasty sheep's head
fell off and she was her own pretty selfagain. the third night kate consented to watch,only if she should marry the sick prince. all went on as on the first two nights. this time the fairy baby was playing with abirdie; kate heard one of the fairies say: "three bites of that birdie would make thesick prince as well as ever he was." kate rolled all the nuts she had to thefairy baby till the birdie was dropped, and kate put it in her apron. at cockcrow they set off again, but insteadof cracking her nuts as she used to do, this time kate plucked the feathers off andcooked the birdie.
soon there arose a very savoury smell. "oh!" said the sick prince, "i wish i had abite of that birdie," so kate gave him a bite of the birdie, and he rose up on hiselbow. by-and-by he cried out again: "oh, if i hadanother bite of that birdie!" so kate gave him another bite, and he sat up on his bed.then he said again: "oh! if i only had a third bite of that birdie!" so kate gave him a third bite, and he rosequite well, dressed himself, and sat down by the fire, and when the folk came in nextmorning they found kate and the young prince cracking nuts together.
meanwhile his brother had seen annie andhad fallen in love with her, as everybody did who saw her sweet pretty face. so the sick son married the well sister,and the well son married the sick sister, and they all lived happy and died happy,and never drank out of a dry cappy. chapter 38: the cauld lad of hilton at hilton hall, long years ago, there liveda brownie that was the contrariest brownie you ever knew. at night, after the servants had gone tobed, it would turn everything topsy-turvy, put sugar in the salt-cellars, pepper intothe beer, and was up to all kinds of
pranks. it would throw the chairs down, put tableson their backs, rake out fires, and do as much mischief as could be.but sometimes it would be in a good temper, and then!--"what's a brownie?" you say. oh, it's a kind of a sort of a bogle, butit isn't so cruel as a redcap! what! you don't know what's a bogle or aredcap! ah, me! what's the world a- coming to? of course a brownie is a funny littlething, half man, half goblin, with pointed ears and hairy hide.
when you bury a treasure, you scatter overit blood drops of a newly slain kid or lamb, or, better still, bury the animalwith the treasure, and a brownie will watch over it for you, and frighten everybodyelse away. where was i? well, as i was a-saying, the brownie athilton hall would play at mischief, but if the servants laid out for it a bowl ofcream, or a knuckle cake spread with honey, it would clear away things for them, andmake everything tidy in the kitchen. one night, however, when the servants hadstopped up late, they heard a noise in the kitchen, and, peeping in, saw the brownieswinging to and fro on the jack chain, and
saying: "woe's me! woe's me!the acorn's not yet fallen from the tree,that's to grow the wood, that's to make the cradle, that's to rock the bairn,that's to grow to the man, that's to lay me.woe's me! woe's me!" so they took pity on the poor brownie, andasked the nearest henwife what they should do to send it away. "that's easy enough," said the henwife, andtold them that a brownie that's paid for
its service, in aught that's notperishable, goes away at once. so they made a cloak of lincoln green, witha hood to it, and put it by the hearth and watched. they saw the brownie come up, and seeingthe hood and cloak, put them on, and frisk about, dancing on one leg and saying: "i've taken your cloak,i've taken your hood; the cauld lad of hiltonwill do no more good." and with that it vanished, and was neverseen or heard of afterwards. chapter 39: the ass, the table, and the stick
a lad named jack was once so unhappy athome through his father's ill- treatment, that he made up his mind to run away andseek his fortune in the wide world. he ran, and he ran, till he could run nolonger, and then he ran right up against a little old woman who was gathering sticks. he was too much out of breath to begpardon, but the woman was good-natured, and she said he seemed to be a likely lad, soshe would take him to be her servant, and would pay him well. he agreed, for he was very hungry, and shebrought him to her house in the wood, where he served her for a twelvemonths and a day.when the year had passed, she called him to
her, and said she had good wages for him. so she presented him with an ass out of thestable, and he had but to pull neddy's ears to make him begin at once to ee--aw! and when he brayed there dropped from hismouth silver sixpences, and half crowns, and golden guineas. the lad was well pleased with the wage hehad received, and away he rode till he reached an inn. there he ordered the best of everything,and when the innkeeper refused to serve him without being paid beforehand, the boy wentoff to the stable, pulled the ass's ears
and obtained his pocket full of money. the host had watched all this through acrack in the door, and when night came on he put an ass of his own for the preciousneddy of the poor youth. so jack without knowing that any change hadbeen made, rode away next morning to his father's house.now, i must tell you that near his home dwelt a poor widow with an only daughter. the lad and the maiden were fast friendsand true loves; but when jack asked his father's leave to marry the girl, "nevertill you have the money to keep her," was the reply.
"i have that, father," said the lad, andgoing to the ass he pulled its long ears; well, he pulled, and he pulled, till one ofthem came off in his hands; but neddy, though he hee-hawed and he hee-hawed letfall no half crowns or guineas. the father picked up a hay-fork and beathis son out of the house. i promise you he ran. ah! he ran and ran till he came bangagainst the door, and burst it open, and there he was in a joiner's shop. "you're a likely lad," said the joiner;"serve me for a twelvemonths and a day and i will pay you well.'"so he agreed, and served the carpenter for
a year and a day. "now," said the master, "i will give youyour wage;" and he presented him with a table, telling him he had but to say,"table, be covered," and at once it would be spread with lots to eat and drink. jack hitched the table on his back, andaway he went with it till he came to the inn."well, host," shouted he, "my dinner to- day, and that of the best." "very sorry, but there is nothing in thehouse but ham and eggs." "ham and eggs for me!" exclaimed jack."i can do better than that.-- come, my
table, be covered!" at once the table was spread with turkeyand sausages, roast mutton, potatoes, and greens.the publican opened his eyes, but he said nothing, not he. that night he fetched down from his attic atable very like that of jack, and exchanged the two. jack, none the wiser, next morning hitchedthe worthless table on to his back and carried it home."now, father, may i marry my lass?" he asked.
"not unless you can keep her," replied thefather. "look here!" exclaimed jack."father, i have a table which does all my bidding." "let me see it," said the old man.the lad set it in the middle of the room, and bade it be covered; but all in vain,the table remained bare. in a rage, the father caught the warming-pan down from the wall and warmed his son's back with it so that the boy fled howlingfrom the house, and ran and ran till he came to a river and tumbled in. a man picked him out and bade him assisthim in making a bridge over the river; and
how do you think he was doing it? why, by casting a tree across; so jackclimbed up to the top of the tree and threw his weight on it, so that when the man hadrooted the tree up, jack and the tree-head dropped on the farther bank. "thank you," said the man; "and now forwhat you have done i will pay you;" so saying, he tore a branch from the tree, andfettled it up into a club with his knife. "there," exclaimed he; "take this stick,and when you say to it, 'up stick and bang him,' it will knock any one down who angersyou." the lad was overjoyed to get this stick--soaway he went with it to the inn, and as
soon as the publican, appeared, "up stickand bang him!" was his cry. at the word the cudgel flew from his handand battered the old publican on the back, rapped his head, bruised his arms tickledhis ribs, till he fell groaning on the floor; still the stick belaboured the prostrate man, nor would jack call it offtill he had got back the stolen ass and table. then he galloped home on the ass, with thetable on his shoulders, and the stick in his hand. when he arrived there he found his fatherwas dead, so he brought his ass into the
stable, and pulled its ears till he hadfilled the manger with money. it was soon known through the town thatjack had returned rolling in wealth, and accordingly all the girls in the place settheir caps at him. "now," said jack, "i shall marry therichest lass in the place; so tomorrow do you all come in front of my house with yourmoney in your aprons." next morning the street was full of girlswith aprons held out, and gold and silver in them; but jack's own sweetheart wasamong them, and she had neither gold nor silver, nought but two copper pennies, thatwas all she had. "stand aside, lass;" said jack to her,speaking roughly.
"thou hast no silver nor gold--stand offfrom the rest." she obeyed, and the tears ran down hercheeks, and filled her apron with diamonds. "up stick and bang them!" exclaimed jack;whereupon the cudgel leaped up, and running along the line of girls, knocked them allon the heads and left them senseless on the pavement. jack took all their money and poured itinto his truelove's lap. "now, lass," he exclaimed, "thou art therichest, and i shall marry thee." chapter 40: fairy ointment dame goody was a nurse that looked aftersick people, and minded babies.
one night she was woke up at midnight, andwhen she went downstairs, she saw a strange squinny-eyed, little ugly old fellow, whoasked her to come to his wife who was too ill to mind her baby. dame goody didn't like the look of the oldfellow, but business is business; so she popped on her things, and went down to him. and when she got down to him, he whiskedher up on to a large coal-black horse with fiery eyes, that stood at the door; andsoon they were going at a rare pace, dame goody holding on to the old fellow likegrim death. they rode, and they rode, till at last theystopped before a cottage door.
so they got down and went in and found thegood woman abed with the children playing about; and the babe, a fine bouncing boy,beside her. dame goody took the babe, which was as finea baby boy as you'd wish to see. the mother, when she handed the baby todame goody to mind, gave her a box of ointment, and told her to stroke the baby'seyes with it as soon as it opened them. after a while it began to open its eyes. dame goody saw that it had squinny eyesjust like its father. so she took the box of ointment and strokedits two eyelids with it. but she couldn't help wondering what it wasfor, as she had never seen such a thing
done before. so she looked to see if the others werelooking, and, when they were not noticing she stroked her own right eyelid with theointment. no sooner had she done so, than everythingseemed changed about her. the cottage became elegantly furnished.the mother in the bed was a beautiful lady, dressed up in white silk. the little baby was still more beautifulthan before, and its clothes were made of a sort of silvery gauze. its little brothers and sisters around thebed were flat-nosed imps with pointed ears,
who made faces at one another, andscratched their polls. sometimes they would pull the sick lady'sears with their long and hairy paws. in fact, they were up to all kinds ofmischief; and dame goody knew that she had got into a house of pixies. but she said nothing to nobody, and as soonas the lady was well enough to mind the baby, she asked the old fellow to take herback home. so he came round to the door with the coal-black horse with eyes of fire, and off they went as fast as before, or perhaps a littlefaster, till they came to dame goody's cottage, where the squinny-eyed old fellow
lifted her down and left her, thanking hercivilly enough, and paying her more than she had ever been paid before for suchservice. now next day happened to be market-day, andas dame goody had been away from home, she wanted many things in the house, andtrudged off to get them at the market. as she was buying the things she wanted,who should she see but the squinny-eyed old fellow who had taken her on the coal-blackhorse. and what do you think he was doing? why he went about from stall to stalltaking up things from each, here some fruit, and there some eggs, and so on; andno one seemed to take any notice.
now dame goody did not think it herbusiness to interfere, but she thought she ought not to let so good a customer passwithout speaking. so she ups to him and bobs a curtsey andsaid: "gooden, sir, i hopes as how your good lady and the little one are as wellas----" but she couldn't finish what she was a-saying, for the funny old fellow started back in surprise, and he says to her, sayshe: "what! do you see me today?" "see you," says she, "why, of course i do,as plain as the sun in the skies, and what's more," says she, "i see you are busytoo, into the bargain." "ah, you see too much," said he; "now,pray, with which eye do you see all this?"
"with the right eye to be sure," said she,as proud as can be to find him out. "the ointment! the ointment!" cried the old pixy thief."take that for meddling with what don't concern you: you shall see me no more." and with that he struck her on her righteye, and she couldn't see him any more; and, what was worse, she was blind on theright side from that hour till the day of her death. chapter 41: the well of the world's end once upon a time, and a very good time itwas, though it wasn't in my time, nor in
your time, nor any one else's time, therewas a girl whose mother had died, and her father had married again. and her stepmother hated her because shewas more beautiful than herself, and she was very cruel to her.she used to make her do all the servant's work, and never let her have any peace. at last, one day, the stepmother thought toget rid of her altogether; so she handed her a sieve and said to her: "go, fill itat the well of the world's end and bring it home to me full, or woe betide you." for she thought she would never be able tofind the well of the world's end, and, if
she did, how could she bring home a sievefull of water? well, the girl started off, and asked everyone she met to tell her where was the well of the world's end. but nobody knew, and she didn't know whatto do, when a queer little old woman, all bent double, told her where it was, and howshe could get to it. so she did what the old woman told her, andat last arrived at the well of the world's end.but when she dipped the sieve in the cold, cold water, it all ran out again. she tried and she tried again, but everytime it was the same; and at last she sate
down and cried as if her heart would break. suddenly she heard a croaking voice, andshe looked up and saw a great frog with goggle eyes looking at her and speaking toher. "what's the matter, dearie?" it said. "oh, dear, oh dear," she said, "mystepmother has sent me all this long way to fill this sieve with water from the well ofthe world's end, and i can't fill it no how at all." "well," said the frog, "if you promise meto do whatever i bid you for a whole night long, i'll tell you how to fill it."so the girl agreed, and then the frog said:
"stop it with moss and daub it with clay,and then it will carry the water away;" and then it gave a hop, skip and jump, andwent flop into the well of the world's end. so the girl looked about for some moss, andlined the bottom of the sieve with it, and over that she put some clay, and then shedipped it once again into the well of the world's end; and this time, the waterdidn't run out, and she turned to go away. just then the frog popped up its head outof the well of the world's end, and said: "remember your promise." "all right," said the girl; for thoughtshe, "what harm can a frog do me?" so she went back to her stepmother, andbrought the sieve full of water from the
well of the world's end. the stepmother was fine and angry, but shesaid nothing at all. that very evening they heard something taptapping at the door low down, and a voice cried out: "open the door, my hinny, my heart,open the door, my own darling; mind you the words that you and i spoke,down in the meadow, at the world's end well." "whatever can that be?" cried out thestepmother, and the girl had to tell her all about it, and what she had promised thefrog.
"girls must keep their promises," said thestepmother. "go and open the door this instant."for she was glad the girl would have to obey a nasty frog. so the girl went and opened the door, andthere was the frog from the well of the world's end. and it hopped, and it skipped, and itjumped, till it reached the girl, and then it said: "lift me to your knee, my hinny, my heart;lift me to your knee, my own darling; remember the words you and i spoke,down in the meadow by the world's end
well." but the girl didn't like to, till herstepmother said "lift it up this instant, you hussy!girls must keep their promises!" so at last she lifted the frog up on to herlap, and it lay there for a time, till at last it said: "give me some supper, my hinny, my heart,give me some supper, my darling; remember the words you and i spake,in the meadow, by the well of the world's end." well, she didn't mind doing that, so shegot it a bowl of milk and bread, and fed it
well.and when the frog, had finished, it said: "go with me to bed, my hinny, my heart,go with me to bed, my own darling; mind you the words you spake to me,down by the cold well, so weary." but that the girl wouldn't do, till herstepmother said: "do what you promised, girl; girls must keep their promises.do what you're bid, or out you go, you and your froggie." so the girl took the frog with her to bed,and kept it as far away from her as she could.well, just as the day was beginning to break what should the frog say but:
"chop off my head, my hinny, my heart,chop off my head, my own darling; remember the promise you made to me,down by the cold well so weary." at first the girl wouldn't, for she thoughtof what the frog had done for her at the but when the frog said the words overagain, she went and took an axe and chopped off its head, and lo! and behold, therestood before her a handsome young prince, who told her that he had been enchanted by a wicked magician, and he could never beunspelled till some girl would do his bidding for a whole night, and chop off hishead at the end of it. the stepmother was that surprised when shefound the young prince instead of the nasty
frog, and she wasn't best pleased, you maybe sure, when the prince told her that he was going to marry her stepdaughter becauseshe had unspelled him. so they were married and went away to livein the castle of the king, his father, and all the stepmother had to console her was,that it was all through her that her stepdaughter was married to a prince. chapter 42: master of all masters a girl once went to the fair to hireherself for servant. at last a funny-looking old gentlemanengaged her, and took her home to his house.
when she got there, he told her that he hadsomething to teach her, for that in his house he had his own names for things.he said to her: "what will you call me?" "master or mister, or whatever you pleasesir," says she. he said: "you must call me 'master of allmasters.' and what would you call this?" pointing tohis bed. "bed or couch, or whatever you please,sir." "no, that's my 'barnacle.' and what do you call these?" said hepointing to his pantaloons. "breeches or trousers, or whatever youplease, sir."
"you must call them 'squibs and crackers.' and what would you call her?" pointing tothe cat. "cat or kit, or whatever you please, sir.""you must call her 'white-faced simminy.' and this now," showing the fire, "whatwould you call this?" "fire or flame, or whatever you please,sir." "you must call it 'hot cockalorum,' andwhat this?" he went on, pointing to the water."water or wet, or whatever you please, sir." "no, 'pondalorum' is its name.and what do you call all this?" asked he,
as he pointed to the house."house or cottage, or whatever you please, "you must call it 'high topper mountain.'"that very night the servant woke her master up in a fright and said: "master of allmasters, get out of your barnacle and put on your squibs and crackers. for white-faced simminy has got a spark ofhot cockalorum on its tail, and unless you get some pondalorum high topper mountainwill be all on hot cockalorum." .... that's all. chapter 43: the three heads of the well
long before arthur and the knights of theround table, there reigned in the eastern part of england a king who kept his courtat colchester. in the midst of all his glory, his queendied, leaving behind her an only daughter, about fifteen years of age, who for herbeauty and kindness was the wonder of all that knew her. but the king hearing of a lady who hadlikewise an only daughter, had a mind to marry her for the sake of her riches,though she was old, ugly, hook- nosed, and hump-backed. her daughter was a yellow dowdy, full ofenvy and ill-nature; and, in short, was
much of the same mould as her mother. but in a few weeks the king, attended bythe nobility and gentry, brought his deformed bride to the palace, where themarriage rites were performed. they had not been long in the court beforethey set the king against his own beautiful daughter by false reports. the young princess having lost her father'slove, grew weary of the court, and one day, meeting with her father in the garden, shebegged him, with tears in her eyes, to let her go and seek her fortune; to which the king consented, and ordered her mother-in-law to give her what she pleased.
she went to the queen, who gave her acanvas bag of brown bread and hard cheese, with a bottle of beer; though this was buta pitiful dowry for a king's daughter. she took it, with thanks, and proceeded onher journey, passing through groves, woods, and valleys, till at length she saw an oldman sitting on a stone at the mouth of a cave, who said: "good morrow, fair maiden,whither away so fast?" "aged father," says she, "i am going toseek my fortune." "what have you got in your bag and bottle?" "in my bag i have got bread and cheese, andin my bottle good small beer. would you like to have some?""yes," said he, "with all my heart."
with that the lady pulled out herprovisions, and bade him eat and welcome. he did so, and gave her many thanks, andsaid: "there is a thick thorny hedge before you, which you cannot get through, but takethis wand in your hand, strike it three times, and say, 'pray, hedge, let me come through,' and it will open immediately;then, a little further, you will find a well; sit down on the brink of it, andthere will come up three golden heads, which will speak; and whatever theyrequire, that do." promising she would, she took her leave ofhim. coming to the hedge and using the old man'swand, it divided, and let her through;
then, coming to the well, she had no soonersat down than a golden head came up singing: "wash me, and comb me,and lay me down softly. and lay me on a bank to dry,that i may look pretty, when somebody passes by." "yes," said she, and taking it in her lapcombed it with a silver comb, and then placed it upon a primrose bank.then up came a second and a third head, saying the same as the former. so she did the same for them, and then,pulling out her provisions, sat down to eat
her dinner. then said the heads one to another: "whatshall we weird for this damsel who has used us so kindly?" the first said: "i weird her to be sobeautiful that she shall charm the most powerful prince in the world."the second said: "i weird her such a sweet voice as shall far exceed the nightingale." the third said: "my gift shall be none ofthe least, as she is a king's daughter, i'll weird her so fortunate that she shallbecome queen to the greatest prince that reigns."
she then let them down into the well again,and so went on her journey. she had not travelled long before she saw aking hunting in the park with his nobles. she would have avoided him, but the king,having caught a sight of her, approached, and what with her beauty and sweet voice,fell desperately in love with her, and soon induced her to marry him. this king finding that she was the king ofcolchester's daughter, ordered some chariots to be got ready, that he might paythe king, his father-in-law, a visit. the chariot in which the king and queenrode was adorned with rich gems of gold. the king, her father, was at firstastonished that his daughter had been so
fortunate, till the young king let him knowof all that had happened. great was the joy at court amongst all,with the exception of the queen and her club-footed daughter, who were ready toburst with envy. the rejoicings, with feasting and dancing,continued many days. then at length they returned home with thedowry her father gave her. the hump-backed princess, perceiving thather sister had been so lucky in seeking her fortune, wanted to do the same; so she toldher mother, and all preparations were made, and she was furnished with rich dresses, and with sugar, almonds, and sweetmeats, ingreat quantities, and a large bottle of
malaga sack. with these she went the same road as hersister; and coming near the cave, the old man said: "young woman, whither so fast?""what's that to you?" said she. "then," said he, "what have you in your bagand bottle?" she answered: "good things, which you shallnot be troubled with." "won't you give me some?" said he. "no, not a bit, nor a drop, unless it wouldchoke you." the old man frowned, saying: "evil fortuneattend ye!" going on, she came to the hedge, throughwhich she espied a gap, and thought to pass
through it; but the hedge closed, and the,thorns ran into her flesh, so that it was with great difficulty that she got through. being now all over blood, she searched forwater to wash herself, and, looking round, she saw the well. she sat down on the brink of it, and one ofthe heads came up, saying: "wash me, comb me, and lay me down softly," as before, butshe banged it with her bottle, saying, "take that for your washing." so the second and third heads came up, andmet with no better treatment than the first.
whereupon the heads consulted amongthemselves what evils to plague her with for such usage.the first said: "let her be struck with leprosy in her face." the second: "let her voice be as harsh as acorn-crake's." the third said: "let her have for husbandbut a poor country cobbler." well, she goes on till she came to a town,and it being market-day, the people looked at her, and, seeing such a mangy face, andhearing such a squeaky voice, all fled but a poor country cobbler. now he not long before had mended the shoesof an old hermit, who, having no money gave
him a box of ointment for the cure of theleprosy, and a bottle of spirits for a harsh voice. so the cobbler having a mind to do an actof charity, was induced to go up to her and ask her who she was."i am," said she, "the king of colchester's daughter-in-law." "well," said the cobbler, "if i restore youto your natural complexion, and make a sound cure both in face and voice, will youin reward take me for a husband?" "yes, friend," replied she, "with all myheart!" with this the cobbler applied the remedies,and they made her well in a few weeks;
after which they were married, and so setforward for the court at colchester. when the queen found that her daughter hadmarried nothing but a poor cobbler, she hanged herself in wrath. the death of the queen so pleased the king,who was glad to get rid of her so soon, that he gave the cobbler a hundred poundsto quit the court with his lady, and take to a remote part of the kingdom, where he lived many years mending shoes, his wifespinning the thread for him.
